once my sister was eating pop rocks on my bed and spilled some but forgot to clean it up and apparently some pop rocks got on my pillow bc in the middle of the night i happened to drool and i swear to fucking god there is nothing more terrifying than having pop rocks exploding all up in your face when you are asleep
Okay so you know these glasses right?
I was in class and I put them on. And, being the dramatic smartass I am I turned to my friend and said, with the most conviction I could muster, “Behold- I am now ten times funnier.”
And she looked at me- looked at me dead in the eyes- and said very seriously:
“Ten times zero… is still zero”
Your friend just went up all the levels
if you’re a girl and you call everyone “bro” you need to stop because you sound unattractive and stupid
if you’re a person who thinks someone shouldn’t be allowed to use certain words because of their gender you need to stop because you sound unattractive and stupid
life becomes a little bit more beautiful once you realize that there is two people sharing a bowl of salsa in the logo
i was more excited when i found the arrow in fed ex
no, how about when I realized that the arrow in amazon was pointing from a to z (saying that they sell anything from a to z)
i like the google logo because it is colorful
A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it’s 3am. And you’re home alone. And you don’t have a baby.